FOOTNOTES ARE NOT NECESSARY TO READ THOUGH THEY ARE FILLED WITH HELPFUL, INTERESTING INFORMATION. PLEASE DO NOT FEEL OBLIGATED TO READ THEM, BUT IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO KNOW MORE BACKGROUND INFORMATION ABOUT THE CHARACTERS INVOLVED, I WOULD RECOMMEND READING IT. THANK YOU FOR READING. All the background information will be revealed in later chapters.
* Tegan’s father, from a very young age, and always drank at home. We all know how that ends up-Tegan is emotionally scared from the memories, and often associates these memories with the smell of alcohol and yeast, making it almost impossible to ever drink or be near alcohol, as it causes a severe nauseous reaction from her. Tegan also never wants to draw attention to herself, or harm anyone, so the instant in paragraph four made her extremely embarrassed, and her modest nature made her bow her head, in hopes that that will make people not stare at her. Being away from her home has made Tegan very homesick, and so anything, be it an accent, or merely a mention, that reminds her of her home will immediately grab her attention. Tegan is beginning to remorse her family even more, falling back into her depression, as her sister’s death also reminds her of her mother and father’s deaths. Any possible comfort she is hoping for, but she will not reach out for comfort, as she doesn’t want to burden anyone with her emotions. I designed this fanfiction in grammar to where, although Jack never evolves his grammar to European, Tegan gradually does, as she slowly comes to terms subconsciously that this is her home. This takes a tole on her career later on, as she is a writer and shifting grammar techniques are not good for editors. In this fanficiton you will see me shift from poetic lines to dialog, as evident in the first chapter, as I am experimenting with this style. (As shown in the second-to-last and last chapter.) In the last chapters, Tegan follows Jack out of curiosity, and concern. Tegan then cries because, when she doesn’t have control over what she can and can’t investigate, she tends to be very angry and saddened. This trait will cause Jack trouble later on in the chapters.
**Read previous chapters’ footnotes.
The first occurrence (ch.5)
My first day waking up in a whole different world was saddening.** I fed
Suzy, let her out into my new garden, and left the half-packed**
apartment, heading into town for some coffee.
I didn’t know what was good, so halfway to the center of Cardiff, I
chose a restaurant random. I don’t know why I chose this particular
restaurant, but it seemed to pull me, it seemed different, though the
alcoholic stinge radiating from the black wooden doors instantly turned
my stomach.*
Ever since I was little, the smell of yeast had made me turn my back
and run, run, run,* but now I turned to the doors and let myself into
the bar. It must have been the air, or maybe the fish I’d had the
night before, or maybe, after my sister’s death, a drink just sounded
really good, though every fiber of my being said it was really bad.*
But walking into that bar was the best decision I had ever made.
Upon walking in, my stomach reeled and I swear it committed suicide off
the Brooklyn bridge.* I held my gut and tried to escape to the
bathroom, but I ran into a waiter, staggering before I dragged both of
us down. The glass in his tray shatter along with my pride and I
wanted to sink into the ground, I wanted to lie next to my sister in
her grave, and I wanted that drink really badly.*
“So sorry, I’m so, so sorry!” I mumbled to rye waiter, as I attempted to
scoop up some glass from the floor. He accepted my apology and
staggered off to find a broom, as I was left with the broken shards of
my humiliation.*
“Here,” I paused at the American accent* and looked up with wide eyes
at the man before me. He looked out of a painting, he looked like the
angel of war, and he looked at me. I took his hand and he helped me
off the ground, staring into my eyes all the same. I wanted to thank
him, I wanted to kiss him and I wanted him to hold me and tell me that
it’s okay, that I’m dead now and I’m in heaven, and I get to see my
parents and sister, and he’s just here to escort me.* I wanted so many
things, but all I could do was stare at his beauty in awe with wide,
silver eyes. Seeming hours passed but really only seconds the man
pulled away, his eyes flashing the pain I see every morning in the
mirror. ‘He lost someone,’ I realize and this fact saddens me. I
watch him fake a smile and gather his to-go food and walk out the pub.*
I don’t know what had possessed me, but I followed him out if the pub,
fifteen feet away at all times, I followed turn after turn until
suddenly, I watched him step onto a sidewalk I did but didn’t see* and
disappear.
I keep my eyes trained on that sidewalk, but as I got closer it was
harder to remember why I was here, and random things kept popping
into my mind, such as Suzy still outside and if I had locked the
refrigerator door or not, but those eyes were burned into my memory
and I kept them there until they were all I could see. Closer and
closer I got, and the random thoughts surged back over and over, but I
repressed them and continued on. Finally, three feet away from this
mysterious sidewalk, which I couldn’t exactly remember why I was
staring at it, only that it was related to those pain filled eyes, the
need to be a far away from that place as humanly possible consumed me
and I ran to my flat, shutting the doors and windows, locking them,
then bursting into tears for whatever reason I couldn’t remember…*
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